morgy
i do TEPSIC Magazine, a poster-sized music magazine where artists are given disposable cameras to document where our music is coming from.
check it out on TWITTER FACEBOOK or in a SHOP NEAR YOU.
#TEPSICHEAD
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Friends,
I’m moving back to America. I’m jumping naked all over the United States. Why? Such a good fucking question. Look at this picture. It’s because of that fuck face on the right of me. Patrick.
Let me first start off by saying that if you’re too lazy to read this. My shitty friends got me fired from all my jobs because of my naked project and then kicked me out of the apartment I was staying in. I turned them into Korean Immigration for illegally teaching in Korea and mailed all of Patrick’s bosses his pornographic “zine” that he publishes whenever he’s not being an asshole…which got him fired from all his jobs. Now on with the show!
You see, I came to Korea because of a job offer I got from fuckface Patrick. He said that I was more than welcome to come to Korea, get some jobs and even take over jobs that him and his future-wife were going to need covered while they were away getting married. I thought, “this is the absolute perfect way to get funding for my Naked Jumping Tour across the world. I would be making at least $5,000 in three months to have for my project.
When I arrived in South Korea getting work was slow. I gradually started getting a job or two here and there to make some money. Then Elaine, the fiance, left for Canada to prepare for the wedding. I took a whopping TWO jobs from Elaine. This was pretty shitty, considering Patrick was up to around 20 private teaching sessions a week and was charging me a whopping $350 rent per month (total rent was $400 btw)….I was making around $450 a month….
Now teaching English wasn’t my only way of getting money in South Korea, I had sold some of my pictures to publications, showing my dick for money, and resorted to selling some of my shit on eBay.
Every teaching job that I got, was in some way connected with Patrick or his future wife; which was good and bad. GOOD because it helped me get jobs, BAD because I found out that every job I thought I got on my own…was actually just a temporary position that would be taken over by Patrick or Elaine when they returned from Canada.
So when I got my full-time job, it conflicted with a class I covered for Elaine. I told Patrick this and he said, “Find a replacement, this is YOUR problem.” So I said, “Fuck this, this is YOUR problem.” but I said that in my head. He later said, “Listen, I’ll get a replacement…”
The night I was working on my stop-motion video he came into the studio, sat across the table and said, “What the fuck happened today?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t show up to teach Elaine’s class, and then you hung up on the boss that called you.”
I had notified the boss that I got a full-time job, which she denied I ever did. Shit happens, I was not going to sacrifice $1,200 on my full-time job for a shitty $80 a week job.
“Morgan, I want your promise that you’re going to be able to handle both Elaine and mine’s schedule. THIS is the only reason you are here right now in this air-conditioned house. I AM the reason you have a job. I AM the reason you are not on the streets because you’re a 20-year-old broke kid.” It was at that moment I realized that I was tricked into coming to Korea to be used to keep Patrick and Elaine’s teaching jobs alive…
So this is when I turned evil.
“Patrick, listen. I completely understand. I will do all your jobs, make them priority #1. You’re 100% right…I’m very sorry.”
He ended up giving me a side-hug, apologized and then left. Keep in mind that Patrick + Elaine’s work schedule leaves me working all of their jobs from 7am~11pm…hardly any breaks…and would ALL be taken away from me after they returned from Canada…a month later. Leaving me yet unemployed AGAIN..
The next night, at around 1am, he comes into the studio and said:
“Listen, Elaine and I were talking…and I think we’re going to go ahead and give our jobs to someone else…someone more qualified to do so. Continue on with your full-time job, Morgan.”
Wow, I had about 4 part-time jobs connected with my full-time job. I was willing to work fucking hard for this naked project. Talk about going from making $3,000 to $1,200…talk about a shitty thing to do to a “friend”….talk about the whole reason I came here to Korea was fucking worthless now.
I stayed confined to my room, I didn’t want to see his goddamn face after he did that to me. And then the next night….
“Morgan, what’s your plan?”
“Uh…I dunno, why?”
“Well, I don’t feel comfortable living with you anymore. I don’t feel safe in my own house…you need to be gone asap.”
Wow….so now I’m going to be homeless in a week’s time….I didn’t think shit could get any worse….and then the NEXT DAY:
“Hey Morgan, we’re going to have to let you go….we found out about your naked pictures…and we don’t think it’s safe for you to be around this company….” said my boss from TWO of my remaining jobs.
WOWWWW. WHO THE FUCK ELSE COULD HAVE KNOWN THAT? Patrick.
I asked Patrick if I could stay in the house until Friday, giving me a week’s time to plot my revenge. I photographed all of his schedules of private tutoring sessions, the addresses, the times….everything…they were even dumb enough to send me both Patrick and Elaine’s schedule via e-mail. I turned that shit into Korean Immigration. The motherfuckers that deport douche-holes like Patrick every day for illegally teaching in Korea.
So Patrick, I know you’re reading this. Look, Korean Immigration has all your schedules…and they have Elaine’s….they have Pablo’s, and they have Kevan’s. And you know your pornographic “zine” you love so much? I took five copies and mailed them to all your bosses, so it looks like you will need to figure out another way to have a homestay in Canada….without any students. I also submitted your schedule to Anti-English Spectrum in Korea…the motherfuckers that get the police involved…so if you manage to have a little bit of work when you return, rest assured there will be some people following you around for a week or so until you get arrested.
Also, Elaine? You see that girl to the right of Patrick in the bottom picture? Yeah he slept with that girl while you were gone in Canada….don’t believe me? I have more pictures and even her phone number. Also you see that pack of smokes to the right of Patrick? Yeah he’s been smoking behind your back for over a year now. And check out this
super-sweet screen cap(since removed) of Patrick fucking you…but “you’re not supposed to know.” Super cool guy, eh?Have a fan-fucking-tastical honeymoon you greedy motherfuckers,
Morgan
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justintopia reblogged this from wiaco and added:
Daaaaaaamnnnn….
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zerocool reblogged this from mdtepsic and added:
Jurassic revenge. HAHAHAHA.
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runningwinded reblogged this from mdtepsic and added:
YEAH MORGAN SHIIIIIIIT...should just change
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runningwithcezars reblogged this from trvie and added:
White people CRAZY.
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